Trying.

It's been a while since I've written a lengthy post, it seems that my days instead are filled with children who tend to whine more than speak, screech more than discuss, and throw their little bodies down on the floor in indignant rage more than listen. 

I have three school-age kids this autumn, which leaves me two at home.  I thought it would be easier and, dare I admit, more fun, than when I had three to cater to during the morning and early afternoon hours.  But, as is often the case in such matters, I was wrong.  Where before I had a third child at home to contribute to the day's entertainment or distraction or whatever was needed, now I have only my two youngest ones, just 21 months apart, constantly bickering and complaining and fighting and (gasp) looking at each other.  I honestly never imagined I would hear the oft-repeated tale of yore:

"Moooooooooooooooooooooooom!  She's LOOKING at me!" says the almost-four-year-old in a pitch so high and so loud even my faux crystal shatters in response.  "Stop LOOKING at me!" he repeats, this time directly to his sister, eyes glaring and mouth pursed in an angry pout.  "STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!"

Sigh.

These past weeks, my five kids have taken every bit of patience I can muster.  Ages two to 12, they all seem to need me all hours of the day and night.  I'm just so damn tired.

Even so, when I hear my still small, my still vulnerable, my still-unfolding almost-four-year-old boy ask me in a soft, whispery plea, "Just hug with me, Mommy, just hug with me..." I melt.  And I take a deep breath.  And then I hug with him. 

Someday, one day, all the screaming and arguing among siblings will be done with, my kids having grown and moved on to their own lives.  I hope the intensity of their frustration slips away as the years pass, but please, oh please let their sweetness and earnestness stay inside my heart forever.

"Just hug with me, Mommy, just hug with me." 

Of course I will.

Comments

[chasmyn]

My heart melts.